Angst… no more no less…

“Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Archive for June, 2007

waving ahead

Posted by upoytao on June 20, 2007


First of THIS IS MY BLOG, you chose to visit it and read my post so I have every right to manipulate it and think aloud, rant, rave about anything in it. Its comparable to my room, once you step in it then you are in my world. Or the least edit those unwanted comments posted in it especially those not worth posting gets?

Second you think time and again why I chose to be like this to you.

Look I’ve tolerated you long enough to hear your whinning and stories about him and her and you and him whatever but please spare me the dishonesty.

Ask yourself was I ever dishonest to you? Did I in that span of time told you differently of things that are happening aside from what truly is happening?

So now you rant about me treating you indifferently. Well you know what, I tried really to think about what you are thinking about why you could do those things to me or do otherwise or if I should even take your words for itself.

Remember you lied at me once, then I found out that you lied at me again, what do you think of me? Stupid? Duh? The truth really came out after all and even your closest of kins are shocked about it so what do you think I would feel?

The thing is dear I’ve been more than a friend for you, I didn’t choose to be mixed up in your limbo but due to your youthful philanderings I was dragged unknowingly until I was asked to pay for the price of responsibility. For what? For knowing something that I don’t have to know or if I know something about, I’ll have to find out later that they are all half-truths?

Its like this if you are philandering with somebody at least be honest enough to admit that you are philandering with another guy. The hell, what if the other guy you’re philandering with has HIV or something? The truth of the matter is in all these controversy and philandering which is what you call “Love” equitable to “Waiting for the one that got away” and romanticizing that perspective I suggest you get into terms first with yourself before putting the blame on you friends who were there to hear out even your darkest half-truths.

By the way I deleted you from friendster because of that because I felt slighted that you’d even betray somebody like me. Its a message. Its a sign dear of things to come.

Also you may call me whatever you want, like me not being a good friend, of not hearing you out, of trying to give pointers but not etc., whatever.

You should know me better. I don’t talk to people when I hate them, I don’t even imagine or recognize their existence. I am talking to you now by virtue of what is left of all those dishonesty and my constant search for meaning behind them. I dont even know if you are still worth all of this. Sometimes I tell myself to just be quiet, but being a friend even to the most bizzare of meaning I am doing this and because deep in me I still do care and value our friendship and experiences together.

Unfortunately every beginning has an end. So I’ll end it here. and this will be the last you’ll hear of me.

Take care and I hope you find your happiness.

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On forgetting things and what they mean.

Posted by upoytao on June 19, 2007


When one say that he/she doesn’t remember it happening or being said by him/her. When one doesn’t have the guts to admit that he/she said or did a specific thing then that’s when the problem honestly begins.

Had this experience with my mom, when I tried opening up to her and told her how I felt when she said some awful things at me when I was a student, all she said was she doesn’t remember it. End of the story. I even told her I could ask my friend to call her and tell her of what happened but unfortunately it became my word against hers.

With my ex-gf it was another thing it is what she believes I told her. When she ran for elections in our University and we had a big fight over it she told me that I told her before she ran for elections that If she didn’t run as a councilor I would be mad at her. I told her I can ask our colleagues to tell her that she decided for herself and I didn’t decide for her at all besides who am I to decide for her anyway? It became weirder than that… I don’t know if it was fate or just plain stupidity but thats the end of our relationship or the beginning of it anyways.

I received comments lately in my latest post which is about some words of wisdom, again the same scenario haunted me. That which is she saying that she didn’t felt harassed or being harassed by this particular guy while in fact I can tell by her face that that is what I heard and what my friend heard she said. Or come to think of it if somebody like your friend gets to lie next to you and to say extremely close to you while his hands go over your entire body while pressing his body to yours while you not feeling comfortable about it wouldn’t constitute harassment per se and you not telling us that it is then I pray you define what you mean by it.

And to be given the reason that you noticed that he was also close to your other female friends and touchy at that, then it is also safe to assume that all of you were done the same thing as was done to you in the comforts of your bed or rather his.

It is not surprising however that these things occur, I read somewhere how people create their own life stories suiting their current lifestyle or to complement for what they lack thereof. In this case I think that she needed the “mis-experiences” more than I do so I rest my case Let us just say I “choose” rather not to think about anything she told me or I would never take her words holding any water as comparable to a politicians promise.

Another funny thing is how another one blogger commented on my post while being honest about his/her opinion on the matter the person is not even courageous enough to show his/her blog which is I find really weirder. But anyway thanks for visiting my blog but honestly you dont know me that much to be judgmental of me or of my posts.

Anyway thats it. I don’t think I could be of any help or whatever (I even have a feeling that I am wasting my time). Be happy with your friends and goodluck!

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Just some words of FUCKIN wisdom…

Posted by upoytao on June 16, 2007


1. People take sides. Remember that!

2. The fucker harasses you and you hated it and still he stays to be your friend.

3. Friends are those people who tells you what is wrong about you or wrong about people who are around or close to you. They are not the ones’ who take advantage of you nor of your well being.

4. Friends DO NOT MAKE UP STORIES TO DESTROY YOUR PERSON! Nor do they also use what you told them specially about your past loves to make a point. no sireee. So if you want to make a point always stick to the argument and not to those things i told you in confidence and good faith and eventually use them against me.

5. Do not be friends with people WHO HURT YOUR FRIENDS. It is as simple as that, if your friend did something wrong to your other friend at least have the will to point out whats wrong and right and try to be firm on the side of what is right.

6. Do not tolerate stupid people nor believe them. The next thing you know you are becoming like them or worse.

7. Friends are the people you trust and who trusts you so if you’re gonna tell them something be sure that it’s true or else if they find out that its not you’re gonna loose that trust and eventually them too.

8. If you think I’m angry it is not because you think you are trying to help me, rather it is because my enemy’s (whom you also consider as your friend) words had more bearing to you than mine.

9. Whoever said anger is not a virtue, doesn’t understand the meaning of betrayal and pain. For example if you take away what is mine, I can forgive you but I make it a point to always remember the way you made me feel and the FACT that you can do it again.

10. Remember you are only as strong as your weakest link. If you keep yourself being made stupid time and again by virtue of “friendship” then you might as well be better off as a cretin than a normal human being.

11. People change It may be for the good or bad, if you’ve been choosing the wrong path all the time or if you do not change at all then don’t blame yourself for all your bad luck. Start with your friends maybe they are not worth to be called friends at all.

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anay at eleksyon

Posted by upoytao on June 13, 2007


Abalos & Garci

kinain ng anay ang buong kwarto ko. damay ang mga damit ko at kung ano ano pa.
nakita ko na lang ubos na ang box ng cellphone sa ulunan ko pakshet grabeh nakakaasar ang mga anay siguro mas malala pa sila sa ipis at daga..

anyway i had to miss my brazilian jiu-jitsu clases because of this kailangan kong labhan lahat ng damit ko and transfer in another room upstairs na ubod ng init…

my aunt and i already called up MAPECON a pest exterminator compny and they estimated the cost of treating it to be around 14k…
haaay ewan pa namin san namin hahanapin ang ganung kalaking pera… so sa inyong mga may planong magpatayo ng bahay unahin nyo nang magpa treat ng mga lupa ninyo at baka pati kayo anayin…

———-

by the way if ever somebody knows any chiropractor around im more than willing to pay even half of my salary just to get this painful clicking out of my right shoulder and pakidamay na rin yung likod ko, feeling ko pilay ako na hindi waaahhh

well talk about masakit!

my right shoulder has been bothering me for a long time already.
whenever i raise it at a certain angle tumutunog ciya nag cli-click tapos masakit sobra…
other than that yung likod ko masakit din yung backbone ko na twist ata hehehe
well thats how it is when you’re playin jiu-jitsu talagang may sasakit one way or the other.

——-

Tinanong ko yung kaibigan ko bakit may malaki siyang scar sa may left side ng chin nya.
mga 4 inches wide and 4 and a half inches thick.

Sabi niya kasi daw nung bata siya nakatulog siya ng may lollipop sa bibig ayun kinutkot
daw ng isang malaking daga paggising niya manipis na yung balat sa part ng lollipop at puro dugo na mukha nya.
Ang masama siya pa ang napagalitan hehehe

Ive been meaning to write this for a very long time.
But again im so busy so i guess i have to write it now while i still have little time.

On trillanes winning the seat in the senate – First and foremost i would like to stress that i didn’t vote.
for me voting is a futile exercise blessed with fraud, cheating and murder which all of the following if analyzed correctly only points to the main polling body which is the ineptness of the COMELEC. (at least in this country)

Another reason for such is the incapacity of our electorate to fend off impunity and massive disregard to human rights and civil liberties.
I don’t know if they are just afraid or what but it happens everytime you let a criminal like GMA go free every single day of your life and yet you still expect justice to follow your footsteps.

Phrases such as “sayang ang boto mo” or “You should practice your duty as a citizen by voting and not just ranting about the government” has hounded me since the day i wrote that article about why i chose not to vote.

the point ladies and gentlemen is again not for me being able to practice my rights or my duties as a citizen rather it is my dissenting opinion that whatever elections we practice if the process in running such is fraught with inconsistencies then i might as well wash the dishes in our house than look for my LOST name in my precinct.

Our elections are like trying to cook a stew but using the wrong kind of utensils as well as the dirty ones so what do we get?

an outcome thats worse than what were trying to cook?

Yet maybe i might be proven wrong and perhaps I am by looking at the roster in the incoming senate for example most of the winners are composed of the opposition gringo honasan won, trillanes won and so on and so forth former Erap loyalists as well as a little of them administration politicians with the likes of Joker arroyo and Ed angara.

Its too early to say “Look, i told you the will of the people still reigns.” and before you laugh at me gleefully let us first give a one minute silence for those people who died and still continually
being killed by those politicians who lost in their districts and baranggays.

Let us give another minute of silence for the still incomprehensible rationality of the AFP for killing hundreds of activists and while were at it how about we give another minute for those who believe that only by practicing elections we can boast about being in a democracy.

Spare me the mocking debate and let me point out some points to consider, the following are the things i have in mind:

1. The hand of the military should never be taken lightly, THEY made GMA sit in her position now and they will never ever want to be part of the grander PEOPLE POWER
that is more than brewing as because most of its members are their own. So they should place somebody in the Senate with the likes of Trillanes and Honasan so as to balance out that massive vaccuum that is soon to be appreciated if not soon.

2. The seat of power doesn’t lie essentially in the senate, the powers of the state are still in the hands of the President and congress and mind you that most of the people in congress are loyal to the government while the Supreme Court is still the acting toothless watchdog.

3. Lest we forget given the powers of immunity of the senate still the Anti-terror bill was passed so they are more than moving targets for the government to begin with.

Be that as it may, let us first ponder on the above given points before we even celebrate.

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Jeepney

Posted by upoytao on June 13, 2007

Excuse me miss, mawalang galang na
Kanina pa kita kasi napapansin
Magkakilala ba tayo
Ay hindi pasensiya na

Excuse me miss, ako’y nangungulit lang po
Ang ganda mo palang tumawa
Pwede bang magpakilala
Magpakilala sa’yo

Huwag kang matakot sa ‘kin
Hindi ako multo
Kung ayaw mo, ok lang
Pasuyo na lang ng bayad ko, bayad ko

Sukob na, konti na lang
At aandar na ang ating jeepney
Sandaang tao ang nakasakay
Tila galit at naniniksik pa

Tara na, konti na lang
At aandar na ang ating jeepney
Hindi na makapag hintay umuwing
Kasama ka

Excuse me miss, mawalang galang na
Kanina pa kita kasi napapansin
Magkakilala ba tayo,
Ay, hindi e pasensiya na

Huwag kang matakot sa’kin
Hindi ako multo
Kung ayaw mo, ok lang
Pasuyo na lang ng bayad ko

Sukob na, konti na lang
At aandar na ang ating jeepney
Sandaang tao ang nakasakay
Tila galit at naniniksik pa

Tara na, konti na lang
At aandar na ang ating jeepney
Hindi na makapag hintay umuwing
Kasama ka

Hello miss, nakatingin ka na naman
Meron ka bang nais malaman
Aba, oo malapit ako doon
Gusto mo teka lang, saan sa may Bicutan

Salamat ng marami
Dito na ako bababa
Tatawagan na lang kita
Tatawagan na lang kita
Tatawagan na lang kita

Sukob na, konti na lang
At aandar na ang ating jeepney
Sandaang tao ang nakasakay
Tila galit at naniniksik pa

Tara na, konti na lang
Konti na lang, konti na lang
Hindi na makapag hintay umuwing
Kasama ka

-kala-

—–

Very well sang and nice lyrics nakakakiliti ng tenga hehehe galing ng banda pwamis!

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Nobela

Posted by upoytao on June 13, 2007

Ngumiti kahit na napipilitan
Kahit pa sinasadya
Mo akong masaktan paminsan-minsan
Bawat sandali na lang

Tulad mo ba akong nahihirapan
Lalo’t naiisip ka
Di ko na kaya pa na kalimutan
Bawat sandali na lang

[chorus]
At aalis magbabalik
At uuliting sabihin
Na mahalin ka’t sambitin
Kahit muling masaktan
Sa pag-alis
Ako’y magbabalik
At sana naman

Sa isang marikit na alaala’y
Pangitaing kay ganda
Sana nga’y pagbigyan
Na ng tadhana
Bawat sandali na lang
Sumabay sa biglang pagkabahala’t
Lumabis ang pagtataka
Tunay na pagsintang di alintana
Bawat sandali na lang

[repeat chorus]

[repeat 1st stanza]

[repeat chorus]

-Join the Club-

———

The first time I heard this song I fell in love with it

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Karl Rodriguez (DEFTAC Gracie Barra) Vs. Tj Trinidad (Bakbakan International)

Posted by upoytao on June 13, 2007

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URCC X LETS GET IT ON!!!!!!!

Posted by upoytao on June 7, 2007


San Mig Strong Ice

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ALLAN CO from DEFTAC/GRACIE BARRA
PHILIPPINES
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FOLAYANG

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LASPRILLA vs LAKAY WUSHU TEAM’S KEVIN
BELINGON.

watch out for fighters from DEFTAC, WUSHU,
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Ms. Korea from Ms. Universe 2007

Posted by upoytao on June 5, 2007

















Posted in upoytaoism | 1 Comment »